I've come to understand that balance is a figment of all of our imaginations. I do believe that it exists; however, it does not exist in the manner that we often seek to achieve it.
This weekend I was reminded that my life is not balanced. However, I do manage imbalance fairly well. These were the words that my pastor shared with me, and immediately I realized that he was describing my life.
This thing called balance is funny. In our efforts to achieve and maintain balance, we often create more imbalance. For example, in most cases, I start my day with a plan. I have a ticking list of items that I seek to achieve within the day. Because, I am an overachiever (yes I can admit that), there have been times in the past that have gotten a little anxious when people, occurrences or mishaps disrupt my plan. What then happens is that I begin to fight against the "thing" that is disrupting my "plan", thus creating more imbalance. Now, my time is being consumed by trying to make everything fit perfectly into my little life box, instead of allowing life to happen and plan around it.
It wasn't until I surrendered to the fact that I only have limited control over my life that I began to have peace. Here's the facts:
- I can control what I do, and what I do only. I do not control other people.
- I can not control the elements or the cosmos. However, those factors can have an effect on my daily plans.
- I have no control over the ignorance, or foolishness for that matter, of other people. However, I do control how much of it I will tolerate and how I respond to it.
- Even the best laid plans fall through sometimes and those mishaps are a part of the overall life plan, which only God controls.
- 6:30 am: Workout (As much as you would like to, you need to skip it because you didn't get into bed until 2:00am working on a research paper)
- 9:00 am: Arrive at work (Take an hour of leave because that one extra hour of sleep makes a difference in your level of coherence [and tolerance for others] throughout the day.)
- 9:00 am - 5:30: Eat lunch in your office and try to knock off at least 10 of the 100 major things on your workday to-do list. Once you accomplish those 10 things, actually congratulate yourself. Tomorrow brings another 90 things to do. And, don't forget to find time to take your car for service (no time to do that after work), schedule your dental appointment, and create a grocery list to fulfill at some point.
- 5:30pm - 6:00pm: Travel to school listening to NPR so that you can distract yourself away from traffic and the other 50 people who are talking on their phones, feeding their babies and digging in their backseat while driving in the middle of rush our traffic.
- 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm: Pick up items from the library, meet with your advisor, and attend another meeting.
- 7:30 pm - 7:45 Travel home and enjoy the peace that will end as soon as you get home.
- 7:45 pm - 8:10 pm: Feed the dog, fix your dinner, clean the kitchen and drop a load of laundry.
- 8:10 pm - 1:00: Read three chapters, respond to school and business emails, start the next writing assignment and search for textbooks to purchase online to get a jump start on next semester.
Apparently, even the best laid plans fall through sometimes...it happens. And what's even more peculiar is after a period of time...such craziness begins to feel normal and the lack thereof feels abnormal. Or, maybe it's just that I'm so invested in my life calling that craziness is a small sacrifice for the ability (and privilege) to live a life of so full of purpose. Who knows?
'Til next time...être bien!
'Til next time...être bien!